 70 °F (70 °F) | “Contrived Love Story” “Hotshots” looks at a movie! One Day is a gimmicky love story starring Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess as two British friends who eventually become lovers.
The reason that date is significant is that it is known as St. Smithin’s day in Great Britain, and British folklore says that whatever the weather is on that day will continue for the next 40 days. And the reason that the first date in 1988 is significant is that that is the date that Emma and Dexter became involved after graduation from college and a night out of celebration with mutual friends and fellow graduates. At the end of the evening, Dexter walks Emma home, and although Dexter thinks they have never met before, Emma says that they have met several times. One thing leads to another, but then they change their minds about sleeping together and they exchange “Sorry, I’m not good at this” and “That’s fine, maybe we can just be friends.” And so the story skips to each year on that date of July 15 to show us what they are doing, how their lives have changed, and how their relationship with each other is developing. Emma wants to be a poet and take London by storm, but London swallows her up, and she ends up working in a Mexican restaurant. Dexter goes to India and becomes a teacher, but they exchange long letters with each other while he is away. In 1992 they go on holiday together, but Emma establishes some rules for them, which include separate bedrooms, no flirting, no skinny-dipping, and no playing Scrabble. Some of those rules are broken, and with comic results. Dexter becomes famous with a television show that he hosts, but audiences love to hate him, which isn’t satisfying. Both of them get involved with someone else, but they stay in touch and even see each other when Emma moves to Paris, which, of course, is the City of Romance. One Day is a contrived love story, and maybe you will guess the ending and maybe you won’t, but you will be surprised. I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.” “Dueling Pairs of Idiots” “Hotshots” looks at a movie! 30 Minutes or Less is a comedy about an elaborate plot to rob a bank to pay a hitman to kill the father of one of the characters, so that he can inherit his father’s lottery winnings. What could go wrong, right?
Well, practically everything, considering that one pair of idiots hatches the plot and gets another pair of idiots to carry it out for them. When the movie opens, we meet Nick, played by Jesse Eisenberg. He delivers pizzas in Grand Rapids, Michigan, for Vito’s Pizza, whose slogan is the title of the movie. If you order a pizza and it isn’t delivered in 30 minutes or less, then the pizza is free. So, Nick is dashing through the street in his own beat-up car to make a delivery to two teenage boys, and he is rushing, because if he doesn’t make the delivery in time, then the cost of the pizza comes out of his own wages. Well, the teenagers have pulled a con on Nick to get a free pizza, but then Nick pulls an even better con on the teenagers to get his money and a tip, too. Then we meet Dwayne, played by Danny McBride, and his buddy Travis, played by Nick Swardson. They spend the day watching movies and playing video games in the house owned by Dwayne’s father, The Major, played by Fred Ward. The Major, who is extremely unpleasant, is a retired Marine who won $10 million in a lottery, and when he asks Dwayne and Travis what they do, they say hesitatingly, “We’re business partners.” They also blow up watermelons for fun, and Dwayne gets an idea for how to make their lives even easier: kill The Major and inherit his home and money. Naturally, they aren’t capable of doing it themselves, and so after finding a hitman, now they have to come up with $100,000 in order to pay him. So, putting their watermelon skills to bad use, they kidnap Nick on a false pizza-delivery run, strap explosives to his body, and tell him that he has to rob a bank for them or they will blow him up. In a panic, Nick gets his roommate to help him, who is played by Aziz Ansari. 30 Minutes or Less is a study in dueling pairs of idiots. I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.” “Gross, Coarse, and Crass” “Hotshots” looks at a movie! The Change-Up begs the question, “Are you getting as tired of watching these lame body-switch movies as I am of reviewing them?” Another question that goes begging about this movie is “Did the filmmakers believe they could get bigger audiences to come to this Hollywood cliche of a story by throwing in lots of obscenities and excessive nudity?” And, finally, “How does Jason Bateman feel about being in one of the funniest movies of the year and one of the worst movies of the year in a matter of only one month?” Yes, Bateman plays Dave Lockwood, a happily married father of three who is a successful lawyer and close to being made a partner in his firm. Meanwhile, Dave’s best friend is Mitch Planko, played by Ryan Reynolds, who is a single actor and womanizer, but because the story takes place in Atlanta, you can’t imagine that he is all that successful an actor, can you? Dave and Mitch have been best buddies since the third grade, and one night they go drinking together, and at the end of the evening they are talking about how they envy each other’s life while they are both urinating in a fountain in a park, and they both say simultaneously, “I wish I had your life.” There is a statue of a woman overlooking the fountain, the lights go out around the city, the statue’s expression changes to one of a smile, and, of course, you know what happens. Yes, when they wake up the next morning in their respective beds, even though they look the same to the audience, Dave is now in Mitch’s body and Mitch is now in Dave’s. And then comedy is supposed to ensue, but it doesn’t. They get together, rush back to the fountain where they hope to undo the switch, but the fountain is gone, having been removed and is going to be restored and placed in a different location. If they fill out the proper paperwork, the city might be able to tell them in three days to three weeks where the fountain is going to be. The boys tell Dave’s wife, Jamie, about the switch. She is played by Leslie Mann, and of course she doesn’t believe them. The Change-Up is gross, coarse, and crass, and I recommend you avoid it. I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.” “Stupid, Pointless, Waste.” “Hotshots” looks at a movie! Crazy, Stupid, Love. has too many characters and too many love stories to be classified as having a plot about a “love triangle.” No, call this one as being about a “love octagon,” and not all of the love stories are pleasant and tasteful. Here are the characters: Steve Carell and Julianne Moore are Cal and Emily Weaver. They have been married 25 years, have three children, and Emily wants a divorce, because she hs been having an affair with David, a man she works with, who is played by Kevin Bacon. Ryan Gosling is Jacob, a studly do-wrong who picks up any woman he wants in a bar every night of the week and takes her home for a one-night stand. Emma Stone is Hannah, a young lawyer who is rejected by the man she is interested in and then sets her sights on Jacob, but she refuses to play his game and forces him to play her game. Jonah Bobo is Robbie Weaver, the 13-year-old son of Cal and Emily, and he has a major crush on his babysitter, Jessica, played by Analeigh Tipton, but she is 17 years old, and she has a crush on an older man, who is also married. And, finally, Marisa Tomei is Kate, Robbie’s eighth-grade English teacher who is also out in the dating scene and figures into the stories, too. So, when Cal moves out of the house and gets his own apartment, he starts going to a bar to pick up women, but his pick-up line leaves something to be desired. He says to one woman, “My wife is having intercourse with someone who is not me.” Jacob sees Cal, takes pity on him, and decides to mentor Cal in the ways of picking up women in a bar, as well as helping Cal to make other changes in his life-style. However, Cal still has feelings for Emily and goes over to the house in the middle of the night to take care of the yard and garden without Emily’s knowing that he is doing so. Meanwhile, Robbie keeps pestering Jessica about his love for her, and she keeps rejecting him, not only because of his youth, but also because of her desire for that older man. Crazy, Stupid, Love. is just a stupid, pointless, waste. I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots” “Game, Set, and Match” “Hotshots” looks at a movie! Friends with Benefits is a romantic comedy that tries to be an unromantic comedy just because of the title. The title, of course, means two friends who have sex with each other, but without any romantic feelings, and if you believe that is possible, there is still a bridge in Brooklyn and swampland in Louisiana someone would be willing to sell you. Justin Timberlake stars as Dylan Harper, and Mila Kunis stars as Jamie, the two friends who try to make the title work, and I don’t think I’m giving anything away by telling you that this sort of sexual arrangement is doomed from the start. When the movie begins, Dylan and Jamie don’t even know each other, and they both go through a breakup with someone that leaves them disillusioned about romance. In fact, they both use a variation of the same line of “I’m just going to shut myself down emotionally, like George Clooney.” And this is just one of way too many references to popular culture, movies, and television shows the writers thought were going to be funny, clever, or enlightening to the audience instead of being annoying and distracting to me. Dylan and Jamie meet “awkward” instead of meet “cute” at a New York airport when she greets him on his arrival from Los Angeles for a job interview. You see, Jamie is a corporate recruiter, or “head hunter,” and she found Dylan, who is a graphic designer in Los Angeles, and got him an interview to be the art director for a magazine in New York. Dylan likes the open spaces of Los Angeles and doesn’t really want the job, but he gets it anyway, and then Jamie works at selling Dylan on New York City, because if he quits or gets fired before a year is up, Jamie doesn’t get her bonus for finding Dylan. After they become friends, they discuss sex, and they decide that two people should be able to have sex like they’re playing a game of tennis, and so they decide to have sex, but without any emotions. Now, if you have ever played tennis, you know that players do get emotional about it, and the very first score of every game is love-love. Friends with Benefits is game, set, and match and not worth the effort. I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.” “A Wonderful Film” “Hotshots” looks at a movie! A Better Life is a terrific film that deserves as much publicity as it can get, because otherwise audiences will probably overlook it and not give it the attendance it deserves. It also has a simple story that might not be popular, because it is about the relationship between an undocumented foreigner from Mexico and his teenage son, who live in Los Angeles. Carlos Galindo has a steady job as a gardener working for another Mexican’s gardening business, and he sleeps on the couch in the living room at home so that his 14-year-old son, Luis, can sleep in the bedroom. When Carlos finds out that Luis has missed 18 or 19 days of school so far this year, he asks him, “You want to end up like me?” to which Luis answers “No.” Luis has some resentment toward his father, because he blames Carlos for his mother leaving them, whom Luis never wants to talk about. Meanwhile, the man for whom Carlos works, Blasco Martinez, wants to retire, and he offers to sell Carlos his beat-up truck so that Carlos can have his own gardening business. To Carlos, he wouldn’t just be buying a truck. He would be buying the American Dream. However, not only doesn’t Carlos have the $12,000 that Blasco wants for his truck, but Carlos doesn’t even have a driver’s license, and if he ever gets stopped by the police, he could be deported back to Mexico. That is why Carlos wants to try to stay “invisible.” Meanwhile, Luis gets suspended from school for fighting, and Carlos is concerned that Luis has a fascination with gangs and might even end up in a gang. Carlos asks his sister, Anita, for a $12,000 loan, promising to pay the money back and telling her that if it works out, everything is going to change. He won’t have to work on Sunday anymore and can spend more time with Luis, if Luis wants. Anita loans Carlos the money without telling her husband, who she says is the cheapest man in the world. So, Carlos buys the truck from Blasco, but his life doesn’t change as he had imagined. Almost immediately, the truck is stolen, and Carlos and Luis have to try to get it back while staying invisible. A Better Life is a wonderful film. I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.” “Great Fun” “Hotshots” looks at a movie! Horrible Bosses has built right into the title that the bosses in question are much worse than just “bad bosses,” doesn’t it, but the best thing about it is that the movie might just be better and much funnier than you expected it to be. So, if you have ever had a bad boss or, worse yet, a horrible boss, you owe it to yourself to see this movie and be prepared to laugh your head off. On the other hand, if you have ever been accused of being a bad boss, or if you think you might have been a bad boss, then you owe it to your employees to see this movie and perhaps learn how to repair the error of your ways. No, I’ll make it easier for you: Are you now or have you ever been a boss? Then see this movie, even if you have just known a boss, but don’t expect to get any tips from it, either on how to be a bad boss or how to handle a bad boss. Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis star in the movie, but they are not the bosses of the title. They are the ones who have the bad bosses, who are played by Kevin Spacey, Jennifer Aniston, and Colin Farrell, respectively, although you might not recognize Colin Farrell at first. Early in the movie, Spacey tells Bateman’s character, Nick, “If you want a promotion, you’ve got to earn it.” And then Spacey does everything in his boss powers to prevent Nick from getting a promotion. Well, Nick, Dale, and Kurt are friends going back to high school, and they meet regularly for drinks. One night while they are engaged in a mutual commiseration society, they come up with the idea to kill their bosses. I didn’t say it was a good idea. They know that they can’t do it themselves without getting caught, and after one hilarious attempt to hire a hit man on the Internet, they end up paying Jamie Foxx in a great performance as their “murder consultant.” Now, because this is a comedy, you know that everything isn’t going to go as planned, even though the plan seems so simple and even draws from the great mystery writers and also Alfred Hitchcock. Horrible Bosses is great fun. I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.” “Gimmickers” “Hotshots” looks at a movie! Beginners is one of those movies whose trailer is intriguing and makes you want to see it, but then after you have seen it, you wish you hadn’t and conclude that it was a waste of time and money. The reason isn’t just that the trailer gives away the whole story, even though it does, but the story still looks interesting, and it is based on the life of the writer and director, Mike Mills. No, the reason is that the story is made gimmicky by the way it is told, the chronology is chopped up arbitrarily, and I lost interest in it about halfway through with all the back and forth and further back and further forth. The story is about a man named Oliver Fields, who is played by Ewan McGregor. We see him cleaning out his father’s house after his father has died, and he says to a dog there, “Arthur, you’re coming with me now.” The dog is a Jack Russell terrier, and we see subtitles that represent the cute thoughts of Arthur if he could talk and if he could understand what Oliver is saying to him. We also see what are supposed to be clever graphic images from old advertisements as Oliver comments in voice-over narration about such topics as love, happiness, and homosexuality in society. You see, Oliver’s father, who is named Hal and played by Christopher Plummer, announced six months after his wife and Oliver’s mother died that he was gay. And then four years after that, Hal died at 75 from cancer. As if that weren’t enough turmoil in Oliver’s life, he meets a woman named Anna at a costume party, who is played by Melanie Laurent. So, now we see scenes of the developing relationship between Oliver and Anna, flashbacks to scenes between Oliver and Hal, and even further-back flashbacks to scenes of Oliver as a young boy with his mother. Some parallelisms are shown between scenes in the present and scenes in the past, but you might find yourself asking as I did, “What’s the story?” Then, more like “What’s the point?” In other words, what we have is a very simple story made intentionally and unnecessarily complicated with gimmicky visual comments. Beginners should have been called Gimmickers and it would have been more true to form. I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.” “The Film of Pretentiousness” “Hotshots” looks at a movie! The Tree of Life won the Palme D’or at the 2011 Cannes Film Festival, which says something more about the French than it does about this film. Written and directed by Terrence Malick, well-known, reclusive, but slow-working filmmaker, this is only his fifth feature-length film, his first being the 1973 Badlands, which has a cult following, as do most of Malick’s films. I believe it is safe to say that Malick’s films are an acquired taste, and I found his latest one to be distasteful. No, “distasteful” is such an ugly word. Let’s just call it boring and pretentious. The film contains very little dialogue within scenes that are part of what little story there is, and most of the dialogue is voice-over narration, such as when Mrs. O’Brien says at the beginning of the film, “The nuns taught us there were two ways through life–the way of nature and the way of grace. You have to choose which one you’ll follow.” Then we see the first of the scenes that will develop this theme, which involve the O’Brien family, Mr. and Mrs. O’Brien, played by Brad Pitt and Jessica Chastain, and their three boys, the oldest of whom, Jack, is played by Sean Penn as a grown-up. Although most of the scenes about the family take place in the 1950s in Texas, sometime in the Sixties Mrs. O’Brien receives a telegram that one of the boys is dead, when he was 19. So, then we see scenes of grief, hear lots of voice-over spiritual narration, and then we experience a long sequence of images that actually depict the beginning of the cosmos, the planet, the beginnings of life, and, yes, even dinosaurs. Two women in the theater walked out at this point, before the film got back to the story of the O’Brien family in the Fifties, beginning with the birth of Jack. Mr. O’Brien is a strict disciplinarian who demands that everyone obey him, but also profess their love for him. He represents nature. Mrs. O’Brien plays wildly with abandon with the boys when Mr. O’Brien is away on a business trip. She represents grace. However, the story is weak to begin with, and the film is made even weaker with all the spiritual visual images. The Tree of Life is the film of pretentiousness. I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.” “Worse Writers” “Hotshots” looks at a movie! Bad Teacher stars Cameron Diaz in the title role, because otherwise who would want to see a movie about a bad teacher? Teachers are supposed to be good. Teachers are supposed to be helpful. Teachers are supposed to be able to teach difficult subjects to recalcitrant students. And if you don’t know what “recalcitrant” means, then you just might have been one. Diaz plays Elizabeth Halsey, a seventh-grade teacher at John Adams Middle School, and when the movie begins, it is the last day of school and she is being honored by the principal after having taught only one year. Elizabeth is given a $37 gift certificate as a bonus, which doesn’t say as much about her teaching abilities as it does about the sad economic state of the education system in general. Elizabeth tells her colleagues that she doesn’t need a blackboard or a classroom to set an example, but Elizabeth doesn’t plan to return in the fall to teach a second year at the school. She plans to marry her wealthy fiance and be taken care of for the rest of her life. However, when Elizabeth goes home that day, her plans change completely, and three months later she is back at school to teach another year. Well, “teach” is such a loaded word. Let’s just call it sitting at the front of her classroom and planning how she is going to pay for the boob job she believes will land her a rich husband. In fact, Elizabeth starts showing movies about teachers instead of doing any teaching herself, and when the principal questions her teaching-by-movies technique, Elizabeth says, “I think that movies are the new books.” Then when Justin Timberlake shows up at the school as Scott Delacorte, the new substitute teacher, Elizabeth learns that he is independently wealthy, and so she schemes to snag him as her sugar daddy, but nerdy Scott has hie eye on another teacher whom Elizabeth doesn’t get along with. Now, of course there is a scene at a fund-raising car wash in which Elizabeth shows off her body that is like many other movies before this one, of course there is a major plot to get money that backfires, and of course there is a kind gym teacher attracted to Elizabeth whom she rejects. Bad Teacher has worse writers. I’m Dan Culberson and this is “Hotshots.” |
|
Copyright © 2011 C1N Boulder Blog - All Rights Reserved | ||
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Boulder Movie reviews
The gimmick is in the construction of the story, which begins on July 15, 2006, and then suddenly flashes back to July 15, 1988, and then shows us what these two people are doing on that day every year from then until now.
